領黃單到拿到簽證的經歷

想紀錄一下從拿到黃單到拿到簽證的經歷 (中間經過聖誕節)
本身是藥物化學背景 這次是F1 renewal
之前沒做好功課 完全沒想到自己會拿黃單

12/2 (四) 去簽證 簽證官只看了I-20 就請我到 2 號櫃台
當時連CV 都沒帶 只繳交了從美國出來前的 advisor 寫的 financial support letter.
因為太緊張了 所以連成績單 (transcripts) 跟在學證明 (proof of enrollment) 都忘了繳
2號櫃台小姐很客氣 解釋要 2-4周 而且因為經過聖誕節 還有可能延遲

12/2 (四)下午時趕緊fax
a) CV b) research summary c) publication

之後就是漫長的等待 (under processing)
12/28 (二) (此時已經超過了三個星期)
實在等的很難熬 寫了封email 到黃單上的email address
雖然是官話的回答 (都是在那每天查的網頁上可以找到的字串)
但他們也說如需其他文件會在通知
讓我心中對於沒繳成績單跟在學證明的罪惡感少了一半 (但我想如果記得時 最好還是繳一下)

12/29 (三)
神奇的接到AIT的電話
小姐非常客氣 再次重申真的只能等 但如果真的超過四星期 他們可能會去電查查看

12/30 (四)
終於 complete 了 ... 當天把護照送回

12/31 (五)
一早快遞就來送了(但查前人經歷 還是留個2-3天更妥當)

總結: 這次總共足足花了4個星期 屬於高危險群者 回台辦簽證 還是預留至少一個月吧
交完資料後 好好去享受生活 等個3-4 星期 少點神經質 因為真的只能等

La danse - Le ballet de l'Opéra de Paris (film)

I am pretty sure there's something wrong about my nerves which control my aesthetics to choreography.
Before the film, I feel nothing about contemporary ballet (this might be because I only know classical ballet such as the nutcracker)
But after the film, I still feel nothing (or only a little thing) about the contemporary ballet. (Maybe partially because I really want to go the restroom)

The whole movie i feel is more like the montage of many ballets.
It's a documentary. The audiences never interrupt the life of those ballet dancers.
I even can't recognize the faces of those "supposedly" famous ballet dancers.
Maybe they are famous but I guess this movie is not for people who are not familiar with ballets.

I feel I didn't interact with them. Those ballet dancers or dances are just beautiful objects

The food I have in Taiwan (keeps updating)

a) Sukiyaki (mo mo paradise). (American slice beef and/or Taiwanese slice pork) + raw egg

b) the boutique department store, when I have my haircut. The roof is oblique. The whole building is really stylish.

c) My mom and I waited for the ginger duck soup in cold night for over 45 mins.

d) goose leg. very delicious. The others are deep fried turnip cake, taro cake (my favorite), and rice sausage. 

e) my sister insisted to have Korean-style pork in Taiwan. very tasty.
the board is oblique so the oil can flow to the cup
After the meat is fully cooked, we fold the meat with spicy Miso sauce, Korean hot sauce, sliced garlic, green onions with lettuce.  Honestly, it's more delicious than the one I tried in US by now.

f) the really fat slice pork, which is similar to what I bought in US. The salty, sesame oil sauce is also good. 

soup is nice. 

g) pho but very good one (sour soup but very delicious). My sister and I finished all of them. Besides, this is in TanMo region in Taipei. There are only two groups (one is us) who are Taiwanese. The others are probably from France, America, southern Asia ...  

f) spicy hot pot. The soup on the right is milk soup. I think the specialty of this restaurant is the seafood is really fresh. (I like the oysters and small squids )

Mogi is pretty nice. : )

Winds of September (九降風) spoilers

The copy of this movie lay in my HD for a long time.
I guess I didn't watch it because it didn't have English subtitles and I know the synopsis is more about the friendship in senior high school, where I don't even remember my classmates' name now.

My school life is pretty plain in Taiwan. I have very few very few friends. Even for them, I can only wish they have a good life now.

But somehow I really like this film even though I don't think I have this kind of friendship in senior high school. For the movies from Taiwanese junior directors, usually I watch their film in a more tolerant way because at least it must be some stories related to Taiwan.
But this movie, I feel it will be pretty good for Taiwanese who are in my age.

The screenplay uses the backdrop of Taiwanese Professional League Scandal (i.e., the baseball mafia controlled the players , even a team to manipulate the score)  to reflect the up and down of friendship in a school's gang.
In the end, this song is used to conclude. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XyEAZJ56ic&feature=fvsr

我期待　有一天我會回來
回到我最初的愛　回到童貞的神采
我期待   有一天我會明白
明白人世的摯愛　明白原始的情懷
我情願　分合的無奈　能換來春夜的天籟
我情願　現在與未來　能充滿秋涼的爽快
SAY GOODBYE SAY GOODBYE
前前後後　迂迂迴迴地試探
SAY GOODBYE SAY GOODBYE
昂首闊步　不留一絲遺憾


I love this song, especially the director using this for the ending. To hope, to expect, to say goodbye. 
The last sentence: I will walk through my life confidently without any regrets. I hope I can do this way. 


The scandalous Eagle team is also my favorite. The player in the movie is also one of my favorite. My favorite among the favorites is a pitcher. The charming smile of that player in the end.
They are the indicator of the ending of that that era, when students consider watching baseball games is a cool activity, even for girls.

Beside, the movie ending is so touchy. They even asked the real scandalous player to play himself.
For any baseball player (modest or scandalous), at the beginning, they should love to play baseball.

Good or Bad, the most naive and simple age. Somehow, we also have a Jumbo's gang. : )




another teenage boys friendship's up and down http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0245574/

Eros (hair salon)

Eros and Psyche in Greek mythology

I still remember I went for haircut in a luxurious hair salon five years ago.
I don't know about this hair salon from web pages. I know this from my ex-ex-lover.

The reason I went there because I would like to change my style.
It's a test for me to try something new, especially I need to talk with many unknown people.
You can't help wondering how those people judge you, especially they work on judging customers' beauty every day.
I didn't do any homework. The assigned me a hair stylist.

Then it starts the one encounter per year.

Each year I play as an talkative, friendly customer. Enjoy chatting about my life in US.
Somehow after years, she also knows that what I want is to have some little new things in a generally ordinary hairstyle.

This year, when I tried to find her. Her ex-boss told me, she has moved to Eros.
I have no idea of Eros but my sister told me it's an even luxurious hair salon, located in the all-boutique department store.
Another adventure for me.
I am glad I finished this adventure (they even took a picture) and I like my new hair style. I would like thank her for fixing the previous style done by Korean stylist in CH.    
After I got the receipt, now I know she did get a promotion.

Special fruits available in Taiwan but hard to find in US

Advanced Indian Jujube
(different from date, Jujube (the dried ones are used for soup)

Persimmon (raw)
- astringent ; needs bletting before ripening or be decayed in trees
- non-astringent ; from Japan. bletting is unnecessary

Waxapple

Pomelo

Loquat (Japanese)

Sugarapple

Starfruit

Durian

Lychee

Longan

Dragon fruit

Wax berry

Professional

I remember the quote that my advisor once told me "be a professional".
I wonder if I really become a profession in my field upon the time I am going to graduate.

I admire people who shows their profession in their field.

I went shopping with my sister to buy the dress for Jumbo's wedding.
We are not experienced in clothes. I tried something that makes me feel I am like a washboard.
Finally, we went to Oasis.
The saleswoman chose something that I won't choose it myself. She said it will match my style.
Honestly I don't believe her at the first place. But since I also don't have any ideas about what kind of clothes will fit me (maybe I am also a little bit confident of myself although I really don't like my hairstyle), I decided I would like just to try it.

And it turns out pretty good on me. I really appreciate that saleswoman saves me a lot of time and help me open my minds to new things. Besides, she also taught us how to make a pretty bow, how to find a poncho to match it, what kind of pantyhose, the tank-like to make me not so exposed.

After this, my sister and I went to buy pantyhose and tanks in another store. It's hard to find the one we want without blingbling. So we asked the saleswoman. She's also efficient and also pointed out I need a longer one.

Somehow I feel so touched.
Can I be the one who is professional in computer-aided drug design?
Supposedly. I hope I can convince myself and some other people.

Another Japanese restaurant in a row (梅村)

Grandma's birthday dinner.

It seems like grandma's likes Japanese dishes. 

abalone salad. It's an expensive seafood. But I don't like the salad sauce. Too plain and make me think of the Japanese salad sauce I can buy in NC.

sea urchin with Japanese mountain yam thin noodles. A whole fresh sea urchin! But the flavor of sea urchin is really too strong although it's fresh. Besides, I don't like the texture of sticky yam thin noodles.

Sashimi bowls. (spot prawn, xxx amberjack [紅甘], tuna, red sea bream [嘉鱲])
The raw spot prawn is really tasty and sweet. But I still don't have the guts to suck the shrimp head.
Besides, the slice of red sea bream has its skin ... My friend told me it's for the texture. But I stripped it because it's too scary and thick. ^^"
The amberjack is still the best.

Nigiri (salmon, and plaice [蝶魚邊肉] )

These are the cooked ones. I like salmon (of course, it should be hard to mess up)
But the plaice one is really too oily that I am going to throw up. I wonder if it should be really like this.

Sesame oil soup with fat pork and fat swim bladder
It's pretty funny. I can't wait to have some non-seafood. So I picked the "white tofu" and gave a big bite.
The strong and think flavor that I can't eat another bite.
The port is fat and has port smell.
In general, I don't like this dish. 

fried soft shell crab
How vulgar I am. I am so happy to have this fried crab with salt and pepper. Orz
My favorite one. 

xxx amberjack [青甘] jaw
It's nice and juicy and the waitress keeps telling me the jaw of 青甘 is better 紅甘.
But somehow I still feel the dish I have yesterday is better that this one.
I don't think it's because this is the second attempt and I don't think they gave us the whole jaw because I didn't see the jaw bone. And the meat near the bone has the best taste.  

seafood hot pot with snow crab legs
Good soup. Unfortunately, most of people already feel full after the above dishes.

pork trotter rice thin noodles
The pork trotter is too fat even for me to eat. That's amazing. I like fat meat.
But the noodles is really tasty with the tasty sauce. 

Happiness is from sharing. ==> from "Into the Wild"
I guess that's part of reason that I feel the dishes I have in 居屋 is better than the ones in 梅村.

But I am still very happy to see my whole family (around 20 people). And my grandma is very happy. Occasionally she laugh out loud.
She's so great that she can enjoy sashimi that many people can't really enjoy.
I don't feel it's bad that people can't enjoy. It takes time to develop the taste that Japanese develop for a whole life. We don't need to torture ourselves.
(I can only enjoy a little and you have seen how I react to the fried soft shell crab)

Luckiness

I don't feel I am really unlucky although my friend comforted me against these "unlucky" events
If I am not lucky, I won't be alive. I won't meet you, and good friends. And my family are happy and healthy.

I am just very impatient. I didn't face the Facts instead of shutting my eyes
I am lazy dealing with chores. And my laziness + unorganized causes a lot of troubles.

I was too lucky or life was too plain when I was small.

Japanese restaurant in Taipei (川屋)

Thanks for Jumbo treating me. I guess I need to give more for the wedding. : P

Starting from Sashimi, (amberjack, salmon, tuna, and salmon eggs) very delicious and fat.
Just as the owner confidently told us, "all of our sashimi are fresh"

Octopus salad. the octopus is cooked with onions and other vegetables + sour seasoning.
Pretty delicious

Fish egg salad. I never tried this dish before but it is nice. Mayo + cabbage strips + fish egg roll.

Kushiyaki. We order chicken and beef. The beef one is so juicy, they rolled the sliced beef with some vegetables (I can't tell the name, usually it's green onions but it tastes extraordinary juicy). This is the best beef kushiyaki I have tried.

Salmon stir-fried rice. Pretty good but it's better with Kushiyaki

Yaki-Onigiri (with salmon). I am not a big fan of this. but seems Jumbo likes it a lot.

Seafood hot pot with curry spice. Tasty but not so impressive.

Grilled amberjack jaw. Surprisingly cheap but surprisingly good and fresh and big. So delicious. I was thinking to bring my father to try this dish.

Driver license was suspended

Here is the story how I feel disheartened.
I got a run-through-red-light ticket in Oct. 2009.
I paid the flat fee to Tatum & Atkinson law firm to help me solve the case.
Then I got a formal letter from them, saying that my case was resolved using the term "improper equipment".

However, I got an official letter from Department of Transportation in NC, saying that they are going to suspend my driver license because I didn't appear at the court.

I know something wrong about ticket.

So I called the firm several times, faxed the documents, eventually one operator told me that they will take care about this and they found the citation number of my ticket is different from the one in their database.
Now I feel alright since they promised they will take care, even if I feel why they could be so indifferent from their mess-up.

However, (yes, another however)  I went to DMV in Carrboro to renew my driver license on Nov. 22 and they told me "MY DRIVER LICENSE WAS SUSPENDED".
I was furious at that moment.
I can't believe how the firm can be so irresponsible.
I guess the reward of resolving a traffic ticket means small to them, but "suspension" means a lot to me.
This is how corporation works and how people treat their responsibility.

I feel I am very when lame dealing with these people.
I cried for my weakness (crying can either be considered as another kind of weakness or just a relief) and the indifference of people.

Emotional

I can cry when I find out I have done everything right but things still go wrong.
One of reasons I cry is I don't understand how people can be so indifferent to her responsibility.

I can also cry when I find out someone is so responsible for her job.
Thank you Grace.

I guess many people don't believe I am a emotional person. but I am and I am so tired about the stimulation everywhere in my life. Some people enjoy challenging life. I guess for me, I just want to have a smooth life.

Hypocritical and sophisticated

Family and friends

The best thing I have learned after I study aboard is having friends is so nice (no kidding...) and family is my best support.

a potato dish

1. Put the potato in boiling water and take it out after you think it's done. (better not too soft)

2. Put the sausages into toaster oven. 

we have Bratwurst German sausages (amazingly good), Italian sausages, and Taiwanese sausages from California.

3. Pour the oily juice from sausages on the potato + salt and pepper + green onions + sausages bits 

Delicious! 

Mature adult

What is a mature adult supposed to be?

1. Sincerely consider your career path, forget the Supertramp idea.
2. Be practical. Understand you belongs to the society and stop blaming the society force you to do things. Play the rules.
3. Think of your parents.  (why I still let them worry about me?)
4. Be grateful. (Do you understand how much you own?)

I guess I am still far away to this state of mind. 

Decision-making process

"I would like to support you and provide you a better life after I graduated. So it's ok we separated for several years. This separation is for our better future."
How naive I was.


[You have to be competitive. Find a big boss as your postdoc advisor. Move to some places which have better opportunity ]
"I just want to break the cycle that I am forced to do things. I want to have a job and stay with him at the same place."
[No, it's not the time. You have to fight for your career as a computational chemist. ]
How naive I am.


Nothing changes after five years.

The small clashes between the medicinal chemist and the computational chemist

Recently I took over a small project (or service ) from my friend, a blooming synthetic medicinal chemist.
After her advisor's seminar for his 10n-year amazing service ( [repetitively organic synthesis on certain Chinese medicinal compounds with known cytotoxicity]*20 projects ), I feel how trivial a computational chemist contribute in the drug discovery field compared to hands-on medicinal chemists. 


So the story of the manuscript is ...
She wants to demonstrate some fragments (Mol. Weight < 250-300) which have some cytotoxicity are tyrosine kinase inhibitors (e.g., c-Src is a famous anticancer target). The reason they suspect those fragments are kinase inhibitors based on a common two-ring system. 
[clash1: the degree of similarity is based on certain metric calculated by certain descriptors @@]


Then I suggested her to use the compounds as probes to see if she can find some kinase compounds in database. hmmm... one scaffold was found.


Since our lab doesn't develop any software related to in silico target identification, we tried the online target fishing server.
Eventually, I decided to dock the compounds against one cancer target. (shouldn't I do this at the beginning?) Everyone is happy at the pretty docking picture but I understand most of them are just pretty.


Again, I feel so useless at least they have some compounds with certain amount cytotoxicity against unknown targets. I have many results to show there is low probability of those compounds against kinase.


Conclusion: be positive despite the low probability

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